A Review of the Basics

This week, I went back to school.

Well, for a few hours anyway. I joined a classroom of seniors at AAA in Dickson City for a Mature Driving Class for those 55 and over. Not only does taking this class reduce my car insurance premium by 5% but is tailored to meet the needs of those of us who are aging. I found it very helpful.

Here are a few things I learned:

• Drive with your headlights on at all times, regardless of the time of day.
• A driver's hands should be positioned at or between the 9 & 3 and 8 & 4 positions on the steering wheel.
• By age 60, drivers need three times as much light to see as they did at age 20.
• Incidents of road rage increased 66% from 2017 to 2018.
• If you take your eyes off the road for just four seconds while traveling 60-65 mph, you travel 100 yards during that time (the length of a football field). Taking your eyes off the road is virtually the same as driving blindfolded!

As one of the youngest in the class, the thing that impressed me was the teachable-ness of the class members.

We never know it all. Guidelines change. Cars change. We change. This rings true in other areas besides driving. We require a review of the basics and would benefit from a refresher course. We need a few reminders.

In his second letter, the apostle Peter wrote, "Therefore I intend always to remind you of these qualities (from verses 5-7), though you know them and are established in the truth that you have" (2 Peter 1:12). And what were these qualities? Faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, brotherly affection, and love. And they come with a promise: "If you practice these qualities you will never fall" (verse10). 

If we're not intentional in our focus, how easy to find ourselves absorbed in our own interests, in our disappointments, and in our shortcomings instead of "[making] every effort" to incorporate the characteristics listed in Peter's letter. Maybe this is a good time for all of us to go back to school for a refresher course - with a teachable spirit, knowing God gives us His grace in all things. 

*Photos from bing.com/images/free to use

An Old Bulletin Board with a New Purpose

I knew we still had it somewhere . . . a chalk board on one side and a flannel/bulletin board on the other, surrounded by a wooden frame. My husband made it as a college student, a project for a class called "Audio-Visual Aids" sometime during the years of overhead projectors, cassette recorders, and record players. Sure enough. I found it behind the attic door, along with a pocket chart, a flip chart, and some letter patterns of various styles and sizes.

Back in the day, Barry and I used it to teach flannel graph lessons to Sunday school children. Later, when our daughters were home sick on a Sunday, I'd pull it out. We'd have our own flannel graph story of David and his sheep or Queen Esther or Jesus blessing the children. First, I would tell the story and move the figures, and then it would be their turn. They loved it.

Every Wenesday evening, I host a ladies' Bible study. This past summer, when our leader and I met to brainstorm some new ideas for the fall, she wondered aloud about using a bulletin board to display our prayer requests. Bingo! I had just what we needed! Once more, I dragged it down from the attic and dusted it off. On the left side, I pinned up the title: ASKING GOD FOR . . . On the right side, THANKING GOD FOR . . .

When the ladies arrive, the first thing we do is post our prayer requests and praises. Often, we move a request over to the right. We've seen answers like God supplying a wonderful housing option for a daughter in another state. The safe delivery of twins - a neice and a nephew. Grace to manage relationships and time and unexpected trials. Already we have seen God working in our circumstances and, more importantly, in our hearts. One evening, we gathered around in a "huddle," arm in arm, (Our leader is a coach!) and thanked God for His blessings. A simple exercise, but it touched me deeply. 

This week, we lifted our hands as we prayed. I'm not usually so demonstrative publically, but again, tears wet my cheeks. Coupled with our study of 1 Peter ("Real Grace for Real Life"), our times of prayer have been meaningful. The community we share offers encouragement and just the right amount of accountability. 

So, if you have an old bulletin board in your attic, consider dusting it off and re-purposing it. God graciously hears our voices and our hearts. He's always working!

The Things We Keep

September . . . my favorite month of the year, a new beginning in many ways . . . a new season, a new school year, new routines, new start-up activities in the community, and maybe even a new project or two . . .

I'm ready to settle in. How about you?

This fall my Bible study and writer friends are meeting around my table. Having the accountability is nice for all of us. Then there's a few monthly commitments that will pick up again. All good.

Every month (when I'm focused), in my journal, I write out what I need to do and what I'd like to do and even who I'd like to connect with for that month. For the past couple of years, cleaning things out and simplifying has topped the list. In honor of my late husband, Barry, I touched almost every one of his papers, files, and books. I've found treasures--thoughts covering all kinds of topics--that I've filed so I and the girls can easily access them. I've also given away an odd assortment of things that were important to him . . . but to me? Not so much.

The things we keep or get rid of tell a story.

I recently cleaned out my desk and found something my dad had passed down to me a while ago: the hospital bill from my birth fifty-some years ago! I carefully removed it from the envelope . . . $119.75. To think my parents kept this bill over all these years. From what they've told me, my coming was not exactly in their plan just yet, but I always felt wanted and cherished. A wonderful gift, I know.


Another treasure I came across is the budget Barry and I kept from our first year of marriage in 1979. Barry graduated from college with $40 in his pocket. He drove home and worked for several area farmers until our wedding in July, saving enough to last until his first paycheck as a Social Studies teacher in a Christian school. Our weekly income after taxes and giving turned out to be $133.55. We began a meager savings account at that time and even gave ourselves an "allowance" of  $2 a week! At ages 21 and 23, we enjoyed one of the happiest (and simplest) years of our lives.

Over the past months, I've found quite a few things I want to hang on to. Suffice it to say, the things we keep tell a story . . . a story of God's faithfulness over many years, of His watch-care over a chubby baby girl from Buffalo, and of His provision for a couple of young kids who wanted to serve God together more than anything else in the world.

What have you saved? And, more importantly, what stories do they tell?

Ready for Anything? When Life Redefines You - # 2

When's the last time you tore the house apart because you couldn't find an important document? And you had to have it that day? The more you searched, the more panicky you felt . . .  You found yourself muttering, "I know it's gotta be here somewhere . . ." Keep reading. I found the perfect solution!

This is the second post in a series designed to explore how to be prepared for the unexpected . . . how to be "ready" in advance for a crisis of any kind. So far we've looked at

Strategy # 1 - Examine your relationship with God.
Strategy # 2 - Check your relationships with others.
You can check out my last blog post HERE.

Today, we'll take a look at Strategy # 3 - Keep complete and accurate records with important information in one place. In one place . . . Ah-h-h wouldn't that be nice!

Barry and I began to gather our information and records in a more organized way after our car crash in 2003. It took a little time, but then we just had to update it once or twice a year. After he passed away in 2015, I could find much of the information I needed quickly.

Create a RED FILE. 

Find a notebook and fill it with clear heavyweight sheet protectors in which to place the following:

Birth certificates, death certificates, marriage license, divorce papers, adoption papers, passports, visas, citizenship papers, military papers, insurance policies, leases, deeds, cemetery deeds, titles, US Savings Bonds, income tax returns (the last seven years), wills, power of attorney (POA) documents.

Then type up the following information:

Personal: Full names of all family members, social security numbers, birthdates, driver’s license numbers, location of user names and passwords

Legal: Names and phone numbers of attorney(s), location of HIPAA forms, wills, power of attorney documents

Insurance: List each insurance company, policy numbers, and phone numbers/contact information for car insurance (VIN and license plate numbers), homeowners/renters insurance, life insurance, disability insurance

Medical: Health insurance company, ID numbers of each family member, monthly premium, location of contracts and insurance information, contact information, copies of insurance cards, HIPAA, names and phone numbers of primary care physicians, dentists, eye care specialists, etc., immunization records, blood types, allergy information, list of medications

Financial: Name and contact information of financial advisor
Assets – home, property, car(s), jewelry, coins, trusts

Credit/debit cards – type, account numbers, expiration dates, PINs, passwords, 1-800   numbers, line of credit; Paypal account – user name, password, PIN, accounts linked to

Mortgage company/bank - contact information, contract, monthly payment amount, amortization schedule, etc.

Bank accounts: savings, checking, money markets – name, address, and phone number of each bank, account numbers, what each account is used for

CDs – name, address, and phone number of each bank, account numbers, due dates, rate

Retirement funds – 401K, IRA accounts, pension information
Stocks, bonds, mutual funds, annuities

Personal loans to others - location of contracts, pertinent information

Business accounts, location of business/partnership agreements

List of debts with all pertinent information/account numbers, contact information: credit card debts, car loans, home mortgage, home equity loans, personal debts, business loans, educational loans

Account information for:  EZ Pass, AAA, cell phones, utilities: gas, electric, water, sewer, garbage, landline, internet, newspaper delivery, snow removal, lawn services, name/phone number of tax accountant

Home History/Maintenance: roof, siding, windows, furnace, driveway, hot water heater

Store all this information in a safe place: a safe, a fireproof box, a safe deposit box . . .

Make your system work for you . . . and be sure your spouse knows where the red file is located. No more panicky moments when you're tearing your hair out! For more on the red file: http://theredfile.com/financial.html.

I'd love to read about your ideas on this topic. Here are a few suggestions from the ladies who attended the Women's LYFE Conference this past June: 

"Get a three-ring binder with plastic pages to keep in the car. Every time your car is serviced, place the receipt in the binder."

"Here is a system for storing user names and passwords: Use a 3 x 5 card ABC file. Use one card per organization, and list the information that goes with that organization. Easy to use at your desk."

"One thing the military suggests is to keep a magnet on the fridge with emergency information printed on it in case someone is incapacitated and emergency workers need to come to their aid. They are trained to look for information on or around the fridge. In our case this also includes clear instructions on how to reach a deployed spouse."

I invite you to share your thoughts in the comments below!

Images from bing.com    

Scrawled on the Back of a File Folder . . .

Some years ago, I found the following poem hanging on the wall in a waiting room and copied it down on the only paper I had with me - the back of a file folder. I could find no author's name. I filed it away and just recently ran across it. Perhaps some good thoughts to consider as a new school year begins . . .

Help Me Grow



bing.com

Please

Be consistent with me,

Then I can trust your words and actions.

 

Comfort me when I'm scared, hurt, or sad,

Then I'll know I'm okay even when I'm not feeling strong or happy.

 

Take responsibility for all your feelings and actions,

Then I also won't blame others and I'll take responsibility for my life.

 

Communicate when you feel hurt or frightened or angry,

Then I'll learn how to constructively deal with my feelings.

Tell me clearly and specifically what you want,
Then I can hear you and I'll also know how to
communicate my needs in a positive way.

Express to me that I'm okay
Even when my words or behavior may not be,
Then I can learn from my mistakes and have healthy self-esteem.

bing.com

Balance your life between work and play,
Then I can believe that I can grow up,
be responsible, and still have fun.

Remember what you wanted when you were my age,
Then you'll better understand my needs and interests.

Understand and accept me.
I may be different from you and that's okay.

Treat me as an individual,
Then I'll know that I can be my unique self.

Hug me and tell me that you care about me,
Then I'll feel lovable and I'll express caring to others.

Thank you for hearing me.
I love you!

bing.com

 

Finding Focus

"Can you wait a minute, hon?" someone from the ER asked as she pointed to a wheelchair and turned her attention to another patient.
 
"Uh . . . sure." I tried to breath as I lowered my bulky self into the chair. I had been in labor all day and had no intention of arriving early enough to walk the halls as I had done with my firstborn. By now, the clock read 9:35 p.m. Maybe I'd waited too long.
 

bing.com

Finally, after a bumpy elevator ride, I somehow got into a hospital gown and stumbled toward the bed. A quick check revealed it was time . . . time to push. But the contractions, one on top of the other, got the best of me. I lost my focus.
 
The nurse gently took my face in her hands, looked me in the eye, and spoke calmly and firmly. "Sarah! It won't be long now. Come on. You can do this."
 
That's all I needed. Less than thirty minutes later, we welcomed our beautiful Sharon Joy into the world. I cuddled her close and focused on her tiny face. Twenty-nine years ago today. Happy Birthday, Sharon!
 
Sometimes, life's circumstances seem a little like birthing a baby. Maybe we've been working on a project for a long time. Or, a difficult relationship seems to be wearing on us. Or, keeping up our health regime seems overwhelming. Or, it seems like forever until we will finally finish an important goal. It's easy to feel panicky, to lose our bearings. Maybe all we need is for someone to encourage us, to help us focus.

bing.com

Today, let's find someone to encourage. We all need to hear: "It won't be long now. You can do this. I know you can."

An unnamed New Testament author must have needed a little focus, too, when he wrote, "Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith . . . Consider him . . . lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls."(Hebrews 12:2).

Need a little focus today? Look up!

Making Waves

Dune grasses against a blue sky, kites flapping in the breeze, sand between our toes, and the ever constant waves. Last month we headed up to our favorite vacation spot. "Up North," on the shores of Lake Michigan, we enjoyed wonderful times with family: catching up, reminiscing, taking turns reading stories to the kids, and breathing the fresh air.

One day, all of us struck out for the beach. We slathered on sunscreen, took turns zipping around on the jet ski, and watched the little ones play. Boats of all shapes and sizes glided to and from the marina. I found myself mesmerized by the waves, sometimes gentle, sometimes strong, but ever constant. I discovered that a boat can be gone a long time before its wake splashes up on the beach. And this made me think about influence . . . our influence on others and their influence on us.

We all make waves as we move ahead in our life stories. Those closest to us feel the effects in the moment or soon after. Yet, actions and attitudes cause a ripple effect. Long after, our choices still make waves. Often our waves bring a positive effect. And sometimes our wake, even after many years, brings waves of disappointment and pain.

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Makes me wonder what we're leaving behind in our quest for a fulfilling life. Maybe it's a good idea to look behind us once in a while, to pay attention to the influence we have, and to do all we can to make sure we're leaving the right kind of wake . . . waves that bless others . . . for a long, long time.

When Friends Become "the Face of God"

"Women friends become the face of God to one another-

the face of grace, of delight, of mercy." *

This past week, someone asked me to serve on a committee. I asked the typical questions and requested a day to think it over, then asked for a couple more days. I jotted down the pros and cons, tried to determine if my responsibilities would fit with my gifts, and prayed.

You see, to me this represented more than a position on a work committee. I'm at a crossroads. A seam. A place where the present emerges from the past. Where should my focus lie now?

I reached for perspective from friends, friends I have come to appreciate and trust.

Every other Monday, a group of writers meets around my dining room table. We critique manuscripts, trouble-shoot blogs, and offer ideas and encouragement. After years of meetings, we've become close friends. 

This past week when a few lingered at the table, I asked their advice about my decision. They listened. They heard my heart. And they shared insights I had not considered before. They brought clarity and objectivity to my decision.

Friends feed my soul. They help me grow. They keep me accountable. 

Another long-time friend lives in a neighboring state. We email and chat every so often. Pick up where we left off. Last week she shared a few thoughts on accountability from Jennifer Rothschild - questions to ask a friend:

1. What do you see in my life that encourages you?

2. What do you see in my life that you would like to caution me about?

3. What else would you like to tell me?

Proverbs 27:17 sums it up well: "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."

So, what role do friends play in your life? Are they "the face of grace, of delight, of mercy"? I want to be that kind of friend, don't you?


*From Captivating, by John and Stasi Eldredge, page 180.