Ready for Anything? When Life Re-defines You # 4

Barry with Jana and Sharon

The tears in my eyes surprised me as I mentioned to my daughter that July 31st would mark the anniversary of our move to Northeast Pennsylvania. Memories flooded my mind in living color as I thought back to that day so long ago . . . How could thirty years have slipped by? How could our little girls, then four and eighteen months, have grown to be young women with children of their own?

I remember that weekend well. We arrived with not much more than a suitcase, a vacuum cleaner, some cleaning supplies, and a couple of lawn chairs. My husband sanded down the worn hardwood floors and coated them with polyurethane by the time the moving truck arrived a few days later. Over the years we've toned down the flowered '70s wallpaper, replaced windows, remodeled the kitchen and bathroom, painted multiple times, and added a double garage and guest room. If our walls could talk, they would tell lots of stories . . . some humorous and some sad but mostly ordinary stories about an ordinary family, trying to hang on to the  extraordinary grace of God as we went along.

Perhaps the reason my emotions got the best of me is because I realized those years made up the peak season of our lives . . . and suddenly, they're gone . . . like "a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes away" (James 4:14).

November 1, 1997: Jana, Sharon, Baby Elisabeth, "Mom"

In 1987, we never could have imagined the blessings that lay ahead . . . the girls' school days, the birth of another baby, our family vacations, Daddy's garden, the secret swing in the woods, trips to the library and reading the Little House series under the old apple tree, singing around the fireplace on Saturday nights, our church family . . .

We never anticipated the many challenges that lay ahead either . . . a life-altering car crash resulting in lifelong limitations (told in Penned Without Ink), the death of three of our parents, job transitions, disappointment with life events--and even with ourselves . . .  

Which brings us back to our series on how to prepare for a crisis of any kind. So far we've highlighted several strategies:

Strategy # 1: Examine your relationship with God.

Strategy # 2: Check your relationships with others.

Strategy # 3: Keep complete and accurate records in one place.

Strategy # 4: Have adequate insurance.

Strategy # 5: Be intentional about how you manage your finances.

Strategy # 6: Simplify.

Today we'll look at Strategy # 7: Update your legal documents.

Keep your HIPAA current. Your privacy is protected. In order for anyone besides you to access your medical information, you need to authorize them to do so in writing. It's just a one or two page document. Usually you would list your spouse, an adult child, or a close friend. On the back of your health insurance card is a 1-800 number you can call to make sure this in order.

Have a will in place. Having an up-to-date will lets you decide what happens to your assets at the time of your passing. It allows you to determine who will be the guardian of your minor children. And it allows you to choose the executor of your estate, a trustworthy person who carries out the terms of your will. Remember a document can always be changed or updated as needed.

Have a financial or durable power of attorney in place, who is the person named in a notarized document who will care for your finances should you become unable to do so. For example of you were in a coma, this person would manage your finances, pay your bills, etc.

Have a medical power of attorney in place, who is the person named in a notarized document who will care for your medical decisions should you become unable to do so.

If you're married, your power of attorney is often your spouse. Your ideal choice is a trusted person who will make good decisions on your behalf, knowing the circumstances along with your wishes.

I've collected more "Ready-for-Anything" articles and information on my Pinterest Page.

Whether you're still at the "moving in" stage of life or you're looking back on thirty years, wondering where the time went, there's value in doing all you can to be prepared, especially in light of life's re-definitions that seem to  crop up unexpectedly. At the same time, let's not forget that we have a God who has proven His faithfulness over and over and is worthy of our trust for the past, present, and future . . . no matter what happens.

I took this photo at Nay Aug Park, July 2017.

Change What?

I've spent the last week editing . . . editing my own personal experience story.

I pored over news reports, medical records, and books. I dusted off journals and found the box of cards, letters, emails, and photos. I let my mind wander down hospital hallways, beside hushed, uncertain bedsides, and into the busy rooms of rehab centers. Once again, I looked into the misty eyes of my children. I remembered, with gratitude and guilt, how they and others cared for me and my husband over many months. I pondered multiple memories that poured over me in vivid color.



bing.com

At my keyboard, I added important elements and deleted insignificant or inaccurate details. I made a change here, a clarification there. I want every page to be as close to the truth as possible without deleting the heart and soul of the story.

My life's a little like my manuscript. I need a little editing now and again. A change here, an addition there. A different focus or way of relating to the people I love. I want to live as close to the truth as possible without deleting the heartbeat of who God is shaping me to become.

Can you relate?

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Just as I've been studying primary sources to write about our experience, we need a point of reference for our lives. There's value in poring over the gospels, dusting off our journals filled with struggles and blessings, finding the box of encouragement and wisdom. Sometimes we need to take time to let our minds wander down the hallways of our hearts and once again look into the eyes of those who believe in us, want us to succeed . . . and pray for us. As we ponder the sacred echoes of truth, may we allow the Master Writer to edit our days. Even a few small changes from His hand can transform us and give us hope.

 

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

St Francis of Assisi 

  


   

   

A New Year . . . Are You Apprehensive or Hopeful?

A couple years ago, I wrote a few thoughts titled A Brand New Year, But the Same Old Me. True, isn't it? It's easy to feel defeated before we begin. Yet, God is always the same, too, no matter what year it is. I think about this every time the calendar changes. Rather than focus on the same old me, I want to focus on the eternal God, who is the "same yesterday, today, and forever" (Hebrews 13:8). The Lord who is our refuge and strength (Psalm 46:1). The One and has a habit of "doing exceedingly, abundantly, above all that we ask or think" (Ephesians 3:20).

My dad and I chatted about the new year on the phone today. Perhaps both of us feel a little apprehensive about the unknown months ahead. Our family has taken some hits the past few years. My mom passed away in 2013. Dad had triple by-pass surgery the same year, plus a few visits to the ER since. Then there's the quiet defeats, the disappointments, the rewrites of life.

But never without the presence of God. Never without His grace and direction. Never without His Word to comfort us and keep us centered in the truth. Never without His faithfulness. . . . Never without hope.

That's a lot to be thankful for.

After our car accident in 2003, a pastor friend challenged me to "dream big." I've thought about that now and then as the years have slipped by. Perhaps 2015 will bring me closer to my goal of publishing our story, a story of learning to trust in the midst of trauma.

So, how do you feel about the new year? Apprehensive? Hopeful? A little of both? As we step into January 2015, the God who created the universe walks by our side. "My times are in your hands" (Psalm 31:15). 

 

Change for the New Year?

Happy New Year!

I've asked professional counselor and guest blogger, Heather Hall, to share some ideas on how to figure out what's most important in the big picture of life and in the day-to-day implementation of it all. Her ideas are practical and, I think, will be a help to us all. Welcome, Heather!

When God sets a blank sheet of paper (such as a new year) before us, how do we decide what to put on it? How do we capture all the hopes, dreams, trials, and responsibilities that clamor for our mind and emotions and make them “obedient to Christ” and His plan? 

Several years ago a friend suggested the idea of taking a DAWG day (Day Alone With God). I try to do this at least once a year but more often than not, it ends up happening when life is pressing in, change is coming, and I need to take some time to “be still” and do some rewriting suggested by the Editor of my story.

The idea is to set a whole day aside to bring ourselves before the Lord. Be intentional about putting it on the schedule. Send the kids to Grandma’s or swap babysitting with a friend. Get the kids on the bus and your husband off to work. Take a day off from work yourself or set aside a Saturday. Turn off the phone, computer, and TV.

Grab a blank sheet of paper and a pencil, your calendar or planner, and find your favorite place of solitude. I like to camp out on my living room floor and light some candles. I start my DAWG day with praise by singing along with some favorite praise and worship songs.

Next, I pray through the thing that is most heavy on my heart. This past year my family, including me, has been through several serious health issues, so I needed to take some time to identify my emotions and fears and then identify the truth regarding those situations. Those go off to one side of the page.

After that, I get out my calendar and pray over the days and months ahead. I bring before the Lord vacations, trips, weekend plans, and my daily schedule. The first items go right onto my calendar and the daily schedule goes in the middle of the blank page. Everything is a question, and I must purpose to listen for the answer. “Lord, when you do you want me to get up? When do I get to spend time with you? When do I exercise? When do I go to bed? What do I do before work? After work?”

Some of the other items I might pray over are personal Bible study (“Lord, what do you want me to study next?”),what ministries to be involved in at church and outside of church, mentoring opportunities, and finances. Each gets its own space on the page.

Always, I must take time to consider offenses I must forgive or ask forgiveness for.

Lastly, I surrender all the things above to God, which I’ve tried to do throughout my time with Him that day, and ask Him if there is anything else I need to surrender.

At the close of my DAWG day, I find myself refreshed and at peace with my now much-written-on sheet of paper. However, as I begin each new day remembering that “His mercies are new every morning,” I must present both my filled up page (that’s why it’s in pencil) and my blank page for that day to the Lord with the following question: “What’s the plan today, Lord?”

Heather Hall is a Licensed Professional Counselor who counsels and teaches at The Love Life Marriage & Family Center. in Clarks Summit, PA. She will be having another DAWG day soon as she finishes a PhD in Human Development and considers what God wants her to do with all that time she no longer has to spend studying. She’s hoping voice lessons, travel, quilting, and cooking for friends and family are part of the plan.

Just Say No?

At any given moment, our usually happy, two-year-old grandson, Ty, can be heard yelling, “Nooo.”  Funny thing is, sometimes at the same he’s saying “no,” he’s using sign language to say “yes.” Two little words, all mixed up.
 
I have a hunch that toddlers aren’t the only ones who are conflicted about “yes” and “no.”

“Just say no” sounds so simple. It’s like saying, “Just sign here,” or, “Just click there.”  Easy, enough. But what does that signature stand for? What are the implications of one easy click? Can one “just say no” alter a life?


I have the privilege of joining Catapult Magazine's current discussion on the topic, "Just Say No." Read the rest of the story at https://www.catapultmagazine.com/just-say-no/feature/the-tug-of-yes-and-no

What's your "yes" and "no" story?

Time . . . and the Will of God

Is your to-do list as long as mine?

I wrote the list I'm working off today on the back of an RSVP card from Sharon's wedding. A check-mark means I've started the job; a cross-out means I've completed it. No sooner do I finish one task and I think of another. So much to do . . . so little time. Does the clock tick and tock in fast-forward these days?

Way back in the 1970s, in the days of dorm life and due dates, classes and curfews, I felt the same way. The pressure never ended. Always another assignment . . . another exam . . . and so little time (with so little sleep). One day, my fiance (the same great guy who put fragrant flowers in my mailbox and pulled me away from the library at 9:00 every night) made a statement I still remember: 

"There is always time to do the will of God."          

The will of God . . . How do I get the will of God on my list?

Jesus answered a similar question, one that asked, "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment?" What's really important? What should be at the top of the list?

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets (Matthew 22:34-40).

What on my list reflects the words of Jesus?

I'm learning to jot down what I think I need to do as I read the Scriptures and pray each morning. To separate the important from the urgent. To ask for wisdom on how to spend each precious moment. To be still and listen. I'm trying to compose my list loosely, leaving some margin for unanticipated, yet God-ordained, interruptions . . . perhaps a change of plans or a different direction altogether. 

I find a list helpful to keep my story focused. I'm sure mine looks different from yours. But the will of God for all of us includes a deep love for the Lord and a sensitivity to those who walk beside us. On these two commands hang all the rest. Maybe before I start writing down all that "should" be done, I can pause long enough to jot Barry's advice at the top of my list, along with Jesus' summary of what it means.

             "There is always time to do the will of God."           

Love God.

Love my neighbor.