On Saying Farewell . . .

Remember the farewell song from The Sound of Music? The irony of the lyrics leaves me with mixed emotions every time I hear it. 

In real life, I feel the same way about saying good-bye. How about you?

I think it all began when, as a college freshman, I watched my parents drive away to return home some 800 miles away. Determined, I smiled and waved, but my tears gave me away. Truth be told, I felt half sick. What had I been thinking? Christmas vacation seemed to be light years into the future.

In the late '90s my sister and her family left for missionary work in Africa--before the age of cell-phone towers in the African bush. In 2001 our first-born decided to attend college in Arizona. As the city of Phoenix grew smaller from the plane window, my heart literally ached. And now, I'm on the verge of that final hug as I leave my youngest at her college campus, only to return home to an empty house. 

Life has its comings and goings.

Love has a price tag, but really, what's the alternative? Even though I sometimes find my cheeks wet with tears, I'm grateful for these relationships, I pray for each one, confident in God's continued work in all our lives.

This past week, my small group said farewell to our leader and mentor, who is moving to another state. It wasn't easy to say good-bye to the one who had encouraged us in God's Word, met with us individually outside of our weekly meeting time, and spoke truth into our lives, all with grace and good humor. Together, we had walked through heartache and joy, defeat and victory, disappointment and blessing.

In my living room, over lemon cake and coffee, our group shared stories and counted answers to prayer. We read Acts 20, the account of the apostle Paul's farewell to the people of Ephesus. I was struck with the similarities of this ancient story and Kim's ministry: "You yourselves know how I lived among you . . . serving the Lord with all humility . . . how I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable and teaching you in public and from house to house . . . And now I commend you to God and to the word of His grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified."

"And when [Paul] had said these things, he knelt down and prayed with them all. And there was much weeping on the part of all; they embraced Paul and kissed him, being sorrowful. And they accompanied him to the ship."

Can you picture it?

Similarly, our little group prayed around Kim, committing her to God's keeping. Sorrowful? Oh, yes. Yet, we celebrated God's direction, His promises, and His good work in all of us.

I don't think farewells will become easier in this life. I'll still shed tears when I give my sweet girl that last hug tomorrow. But we can both be confident of this: "He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:6).

A Hard Time Saying Good-bye

I don't know about you, but I have a hard time saying good-bye.

Maybe it all began when, as a young college freshman, I hugged my parents good-bye with that churning in the pit of my stomach and an ache in my throat. For Christmas break, the much-anticipated plane ride home came with a return ticket. I thought I'd die as my hometown grew smaller and smaller and soon slipped out of sight.

Then my sister and her family became missionaries to Africa. Africa! Every three or four years, we said good-bye, knowing it would be a long time before we saw each other again. At the end of our annual family reunions, I've always needed Kleenex. One by one, our two oldest daughters moved away. A good friend recently relocated half way across the country.

So maybe this all adds up to how I felt when I said good-bye to my oldest daughter this morning. Hard times brought her back home six months ago - with her little son and Cairn Terrier. We adjusted rather well to having a two year old in the house again! We enjoyed his antics and played Hide and Seek over and over. Everyday he learned a new word or skill. "Gampa," "Gamma," and Aunt "B'lee" quickly became part of his daily routines.

Our daughter and I worked together in the kitchen, researching and trying new recipes. She became our IT expert when we ran into computer glitches. She helped out over and above when my mom passed away and when my dad underwent open heart surgery. I'll always remember these months as a sweet time.

This morning, loaded to the hilt with belongings, the dog, and our grandson, she headed south (not too far from her sister. Maybe we'll see them both more often!). My husband accompanied her with a u-haul van. A good job for our son-in-law will bring the threesome together again. Better times ahead. I'm grateful. But, oh, I will miss them.

I will miss her smile and laughter, her researched health wisdom, and our shopping trips to Wegman's. I will miss a little boy's running footsteps first thing in the morning, a little hand leading me to see his latest discovery, and our post-supper song fests after finding his way onto my lap as his mom washed up the dishes. The house will seem quiet once again.

Maybe quiet has its place . . .  time to refocus, reorganize, reflect . . .

I'm grateful for lots of wonderful memories and the promise to keep in touch. But the good-bye part of the story? Predictably tearful!

How do you feel about saying "good-bye"?

White Lights on a Thorn Bush

I

Africa's darkness

Pushed aside

As foreign hands

Take a simple manger

From hut to hut.

Passing seasons bring 

Transformed drumbeats

And fearless smiles of freedom

As Emmanuel Himself

Shines in forgiven hearts.

II

Little children's memories reach

Past empty stockings and their mother's quiet tears

Across the ocean

To scenes of family gatherings and roast beef dinners

Where snowflakes and tinsel dance and sparkle.

And in the African night

Their foreign voices sing

The old familiar carols

With a string of white lights on a thorn bush

To celebrate the arrival of the Light of the World.

 

This poem is dedicated to my sister and her family who went to Tanzania, East Africa to share the gospel with the Datoog people in June 1997. That first December 25th, they took a small nativity of Christ from hut to hut and read the Christmas narrative prepared with their language helper. For the first time, this village heard the story of Jesus. Over the years, a church and school were established.

I also want to dedicate these words to missionaries all over the world who feel a little homesick over the holidays. May God give you His grace as you faithfully serve the "Light of the World."

On the Heels of Thanksgiving: Black Friday Reflections

Okay, I admit it. I joined all the other brave shoppers on Black Friday. My youngest daughter and I left the house at 9:30 a.m. and headed out to seek our fortune. Best bargain of the day? Boots regularly $84.99 for $19.99. The busiest store? Kohl's. Swarms of people made it almost impossible to even try on the boots! The longest wait in line to check out? Thirty minutes. The hardest place to find a parking place? The underground lot at the Steamtown Mall. We had a good time, joking about the craziness we found ourselves a part of, trying not to lose each other in the crowds.

But we had more on our minds than finding bargains. We also purchased gifts for a brother and sister whose mom's prison sentence won't allow her to give her children gifts. Parents in prison can participate by signing a card for each child in their family. This card, in turn, is given to individuals who desire to help these forgotten children in a tangible way. When the pastor announced this opportunity at church, our daughter jumped at the chance to help. She used the money she earned herself without a second thought.

Maybe this is what Christmas is all about.

Yet, Black Friday, Cyber Monday, shopping, and all the sales competition seem to cause Thanksgiving to fade from our attention so quickly. Before the day's end, we're on to the next thing, wading through holiday trappings to get there. As we anticipate the Babe in the Manger, I hope to carry a thankful heart with me, to "enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him and bless His name. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations" (Psalm 100:4, 5).

Let's bring the spirit of Thanksgiving into the Christmas season. "Thanks be unto God for His indescribable gift" (2 Corinthians 9:15).

What are your Black Friday reflections?

A Memorable Monday

Monday began at thirty thousand feet above the midnight outline of Africa, heading due north.

At fifteen years old, our daughter, Elisabeth, found herself leaving behind a rich experience with precious children she would always hold close to her heart. She spent four weeks at Dayspring Children's Village near Mageliesburg, South Africa, a school for disadvantaged children. She worked with first graders during most the school day, listening to them read and guiding them through their paces. She taught piano basics to all who showed an interest and helped the older students with their writing skills. She assisted teachers by making charts, accompanying the little ones on a field trip, and playing the piano for music classes. Every day found her busy and involved.

Her world expanded to include first-hand connections with hurting kids: orphans, those with abusive home situations, those who would have little hope without the influence of a school like Dayspring. She took a close-up look at the many faces of Africa. She saw poverty manifested in tin shacks, small crowded homes, and those selling their wares on street corners. She experienced bustling highways and an upscale shopping mall. She enjoyed two game parks, offering opportunities to see zebras, lions, hippos, giraffes, and more. She observed three separate church settings with vastly different worship styles, all directed to the same great God. She felt the support of the entire Dayspring family as they gathered in a circle to thank her for coming and to pray for her - out loud all at once for quite a long time.

 A memorable story!
As Monday's dawn began to break, the plane pointed its nose toward Paris. Here Elisabeth (and one of her former teachers who has made the trip to Dayspring many times) decided to take advantage of an all-day layover. They took a double decker tour bus to see the sights: the Eiffel Tower, the Arc of Triumph, Notre Dame, etc.

In the late afternoon, they boarded the plane once more, this time headed for Philadelphia. Somewhere, as they flew west, night fell behind them and six hours added themselves to this memorable Monday. By 8:15 p.m. EST, we had our very-much-missed daughter with us again, heading north on the PA Turnpike and hearing stories all the way home!

A day with lots of shared memories, gratefulness for God's safe-keeping, and an appreciation for our brothers and sisters in Christ all over the world, especially at a little school among the dry waving grasses of South Africa: Dayspring Children's Village!