After all we'd been through together, I would dedicate Penned Without Ink to my husband, my college sweetheart, the man who protected me, my best friend who would do just about anything for me.

I kept my secret quiet as I wrote each chapter and then the final draft. I word-smithed those few lines over and over. They had to sound just right. They had to express my heart. They had to somehow show him how much I loved and appreciated him.
To Barry
My kind and gentle husband who loves God and his neighbor . . .
My wonderful friend.
I love you.
But he passed away before the book came in the mail. Before the manuscript was edited or even submitted to the publisher. I never got to tell him.
All I could do was change the verbs to past tense.
The bitter-sweet day Penned Without Ink found its way to my mailbox, I could only imagine what it would have been like had he still been here. Would I have pointed the dedication page out to him or let him find it on his own? Either way, I can see his smile . . . feel his hug as he reached for me. "Good job, hon." he would have said.

The yawning divide between the living and the dead is so permanent. Does he know? I took my secret to the cemetery and had a good cry. I realize Barry isn't there, but it satisfied something deep inside me. Someday we'll walk the golden streets and I'll tell him my secret. Perhaps he'll smile, reach for me with a hug, and say, "Good job, hon."
And I'll lay my head on his shoulder and whisper, "I couldn't have done it without you, Babe."
Two broken and restored people with a story . . . for the glory of God.
Penned Without Ink: Trusting God to Write Your Story is available on Amazon.com.
There are no words, Sarah. Precious.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Cindy.
DeleteTears are brimming. This reminds me of my memoir, "Bethany's Calendar," that I wrote ten years after she died of a brain tumor. I dedicated the book to her but, unlike you, I never planned on writing her story. God planted that seed in my heart and in obedience I plowed through the writing. I know that your book will bless many. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing a bit of your story, Elaine. Your memoir couldn't have been easy to write. Glad you "plowed through" though. Many times, I typed through my tears as I wrote PENNED. Blessings . . .
DeleteBeautiful story. Thanks for sharing your heart, Sarah.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Carol. Best to you today . . .
DeleteSo sweet, Sarah! I am so sorry that Barry could not share this with you. I know the loss is huge! Looking forward to reading my copy soon ;-).
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Kay.
DeleteSarah, I can “see” the smiling, gracious, loving countenances shared between you and Barry as I read your blog. Thank you for your testimony: two broken and restored people with a story . . . for the glory of God. And your willingness to share, though sometimes with/through tears. “Love you!”
DeleteThanks so much, Jan. Your words are an encouragement - and yes, even through the tears. Sending my love and prayers . . .
DeleteGod bless you as you carry on with what God and your dear husband would want you to do!
ReplyDelete"Carry on" - a good way to say it. Grateful for new opportunities. Blessings, Norma.
DeletePrecious. I understand. My husband died in 2014, only a few months after Breathing on Her Own was released. I trust God in this...as I know you do. but it is a journey. My prayers are with you as God directs your path. I know the book is part of that.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rebecca, for sharing a common experience. It is a journey, yet grateful for God's presence along the way. I wish you the best in your writing.
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